Just… existing in the middle of everything collapsing and rebuilding at the same time.
“I didn’t tell you to destroy him,” Amanda said quietly.
“I told you because you deserved to know what it cost him to love you.”
That sentence stayed with me.
I left without saying much.
Stopped at the bakery we used to go to every Saturday when I was little.
Bought the same lemon cupcakes he always picked.
Then I drove to the cemetery.
The air was cold.
Still.
I stood there in front of his grave for a long time before I said anything.
“You didn’t have to choose me,” I said finally.
My voice was steady.
But my chest wasn’t.
“You lost everything… and you still chose me.”
That’s when it hit me.
Not the accident.
Not the truth.
But the weight of what he carried silently… while loving me out loud.
“I’m not angry,” I whispered.
“Not even close.”
Because nothing I learned changed what he did.
Thirty years of showing up.
Of choosing me.
Every single day.
Without ever asking for anything back.
Some people love loudly.
In big gestures.
In words.
He didn’t.
